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m u s i c. m i s c h i e f. a r t. |
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there’s no place like home. |
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It’s all in my head...
I recently had extensive oral surgery, which required IV sedation. Below is the email I sent out to friends and family, thanking them for their prayers, and reporting on the peculiar and embarrassing outcome…
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My dearest ones…
Well, so far so good! The oral surgeon said there was much more infection in the bone than he anticipated, but he thinks he got it all. However, because I was "fighting him" in the chair (I've been known to do this), he had to give me huge amounts of IV sedation, which ended up being far worse for my dear baby sister (who drove me to the appointment) than for me, apparently, as the last memory I have is looking up at the dentist’s light. Her memories are of a different sort.
Here's her report:
She told me that before we left the dentist's office, I looked right at her and said "Who are you?" She said, "Eileen." I said, "My sister's name is Eileen!" This was her first indication of trouble.
I then said I had to go to the bathroom before we left. She accompanied me into the john, then realized that she had to remind me to take my pants down and sit, as apparently I'd forgotten this part. I'm not sure what I was thinking, nor does Eileen, who thought for certain I was just about to pee my pants.
I then started picking at something inside my mouth, saying "something weird is there!" Both she and the nurse said, "Yes. Those are your STITCHES. LEAVE THEM ALONE."
Then, on the way home, I wanted to eat pennies because I thought they were chocolate, and I told her I wanted to open up a supermarket with $1,000, where I would also hold panel discussions. I'd then fall asleep, only to awaken five minutes later (much to Eileen's chagrin) and start grabbing her arm (while she was driving) for no apparent reason.
She would encourage me to go back to sleep, to which I’d reply, “Well, maybe I would if I could just have some CHOCOLATE.”
She says that when we got home, I took my medication, only to say one minute later, "I have to take my medication." She'd remind me I already took it, only to have me say again one minute later, "I have to take my medication."
Then I began putting on my pajamas over my clothes. She suggested that I remove my pants first. Apparently, at this point I said, "I'm so glad you're here."
After an hour or so, Eileen says I seemed pretty lucid, so she left. My friend Janet tells me I then had an extensive telephone conversation with her, during which I fell asleep. Somehow, I had the presence of mind to call her back, saying, “Can you fucking believe I fell asleep?”
I remember none of this, which I suppose is a blessing, or I'd perhaps be dying of mortification as I write. Eileen assures me there's much more to this strange story, but I'm not sure all this blood rushing to my face in embarrassment is a good idea, so I've stopped listening.
Anyway, I thank you all for holding me in your hearts and to ask you one last time for your prayers that this jawbone heals spectacularly, and that Eileen’s memory of my bizarro behavior recedes quickly. :)
Love to you ALL. Today, my prayers go out to all of YOU--that God and/or the universe sends you a very special treat for your gentle kindness towards me.
Much love, Mary Ann |
