|
m u s i c. m i s c h i e f. a r t. |
|
My sister Eileen and I always try to crack each other up with our emails, most often written during our work day. The following is one about my brush with the great Det. Jim Fitzsimmons of Hoboken, NJ.
From: Mary Ann Farley To: Eileen Topps Sent: Thursday, March 14, 8:04 PM Subject: Re: very exciting news!!!!!!
So there I was last week working on my bioterrorism story, right? So I says to myself, "It might be a good idea to call my local police department, to see what they plan to do if, like, smallpox breaks out."
So they put me through to this Detective Fitzsimmons, who's supposed to be the emergency services coordinator or something, but he's not in, so I leave a voice mail message and don't hear back from him in time for the story, and never give him another thought.
But tonight, at about 9 p.m., just as Celebrity "White Trash" Wrestling starts, I get a call from Det. Fitzsimmons, telling me he's sorry he didn't get back to me sooner, but they have a new voice mail system and he didn't get my message until today.
So I says to him, "Well, the story is long gone, but, um, hey, are you, like, a real detective? Catching bad guys and stuff?"
And he says, "Well, it's not all that exciting," but of course, I'm feeling like I'm talking to a movie star, because here I am waiting for Law & Order to come on and instead I find myself talking to a REAL DETECTIVE.
So I ask him all kinds of questions, like--what kinds of cases does he work on, does he do investigations, does he like his job...stuff like that. I also ask him what the hell WOULD happen if we got hit with a bioterrorist attack, and he tells me--never mind the bioterrorism, he has to think about things like jet airplanes crashing into Hoboken.
So then I begin asking questions about the detective bureau, after which he says, "Well, why don't you come down for a visit?" And I says, "For real? Yeah, I'd love to come! I'll stop by next week!" And he says, "Wo! You better call first, just to be sure I'm here." And I says, "Will do. So your name is Det. Fitzsimmons, right?"
And he says, "Yeah, Jim Fitzsimmons." And then he corrects himself and says, "Jimmy. Jimmy Fitzsimmons." So I says, "Okay Jimmy, I'll see you next week." And he says, "Okay Mare, you've now got a friend in the Hoboken police department." And I says--"Cool!"--and of course I'm thinking how hilarious this is that I'm calling him "Jimmy" and he's calling me "Mare" after a five-minute telephone conversation. But hey--I'm also feeling smug because now, I know that if anyone gives me trouble, I can just call "Jimmy," my new "connection" in the "P.D."
So whaddya think--I should bring donuts, right?
|
|
chick-lit |
